Novel#3 by insertnamehere
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Novel#3 by insertnamehere
Ok everyone ready for the next story? I'll start this one off and everyone of you can contribute to it
However here are some rules
thank you
and now the story begins!
However here are some rules
- keep it clean
- Make the story intesting and suspensfull(but we'll start the story off slow)
- no killing off the main character(Seth), well at least until the end if there is a popular vote to kill him
- have fun doing this
- and try to post no more than 2 a day or wait for 4 people go this way we won't be overwhelmed with info
- for the subject write part 1,2,etc. and then your title
thank you
and now the story begins!
cyberSmashLink- Fuctioning Brain
- Number of posts : 100
Location : Lbrainery writing a story
Whats your deal? : $1,000,000
Major : Psycology
Room : the place where i am currently in
Registration date : 2008-02-19
L-Brainery stats
Brain cells:
(45/200)
Powers:
Purim character:: Bigson
Part 1: The Snowy Morning
Seth walked outside from his appartment complex only to find the ground covered with snow. It was a very cold outside with a small wind chill. Why was he outside on a cold day like this? Because this morning he was on his way to go to an interview for google in order to try and secure his new internship opportunity.
BUZZ *Ring Ring*, BUZZ *Ring Ring*
It must be Google wondering were he was. Afterall he was running a little late.
Seth reached into his pocket, pulled out his blue Motorola V195s, and answered the phone.
BUZZ *Ring Ring*, BUZZ *Ring Ring*
It must be Google wondering were he was. Afterall he was running a little late.
Seth reached into his pocket, pulled out his blue Motorola V195s, and answered the phone.
cyberSmashLink- Fuctioning Brain
- Number of posts : 100
Location : Lbrainery writing a story
Whats your deal? : $1,000,000
Major : Psycology
Room : the place where i am currently in
Registration date : 2008-02-19
L-Brainery stats
Brain cells:
(45/200)
Powers:
Purim character:: Bigson
Part 2 The Mystery
When Seth answered the phone it was his girlfriend, Diane. Diane had been his girlfriend for 3 years and they were getting quite serious but they both agreed that they were not ready for marriage yet. Diane was at home for about 2 weeks by herself because her parents went to Hawaii for their 40th anniversary and since she was home alone she decided to call her boyfriend, Seth. Diane greeted him on the phone and asked him how he was doing. Seth quickly responded back to her, and they had a nice early morning chat. Diane then asked,"hey Seth, do you wanna go see a movie later tonight?" He said back to her,"I would love to, How about I pick you up at 8?" Diane agreed that they would meet later at 8.
Later that night, Seth went to Diane's house to meet her for the movies and when he knocked on the door, there was no answer. He knocked louder and even rang the doorbell a couple of times and there was still no response. Immediately seth got a phone call, and he heard " s-th i m i trbl help m." This was certainly Diane's voice but he could barely hear her. Right away he knew that she was in trouble, since Diane sounded so scared when she called him. He was getting nervous and scared unaware of what was about to happen.
Later that night, Seth went to Diane's house to meet her for the movies and when he knocked on the door, there was no answer. He knocked louder and even rang the doorbell a couple of times and there was still no response. Immediately seth got a phone call, and he heard " s-th i m i trbl help m." This was certainly Diane's voice but he could barely hear her. Right away he knew that she was in trouble, since Diane sounded so scared when she called him. He was getting nervous and scared unaware of what was about to happen.
RoaringTiger- Fuctioning Brain
- Number of posts : 65
Age : 37
Location : somewhere on planet earth
Whats your deal? : Seems madam I know not seems I am definitely the topdog
Room : Bathroom
Registration date : 2008-02-21
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Purim character::
Part 3: Police and Despair
Seth ran to his car in order to drive to the police station. As he was driving he decided to give them a call. Seth did both of these because he figured that they would want to see him in person and he wanted the police to be on the case ASAP. “Hello how may I help you?”
“My girlfriend was kidnapped!”
“Calm down. Can I Have you’re name, address…” Seth began to realize that this wasn’t going well, he wanted to save Diane Now.
“My name is Seth Shlagman and…”
“Seth Shlagman! I’m sorry but the police can’t help you”
“Why?” said Seth. Although he suspected he knew the reason why.
“Bec.” Seth didn’t get a chance to hear her because he just arrived at his destination-the police station
Seth parked his car in front of the police station, exited the car and entered the building. At the front desk he saw the woman whom he was talking to on the phone.
“I’m the guy on the phone and I want to see the chief.” She was very surprised at seeing him there.
“All right, fine but I don’t think he will be happy with you especially with what happened in your last incident”
She led Seth to the chief’s office and told him to wait as she spoke to him first. He waited as she entered through the doors. After a minute or so he heard a man with a very deep voice start yelling. The owner of the voice burst through the doors.
“What the H are you doing here?!” in a very nasty tone
“I’m here becau…”
“I know why you’re here, Alice just told me. What I meant was how the F do you think you have the nerve to come up to me. Your record has been lousy lately. First you were driving under the influence of alcohol and destroyed a pizza parlor, and now Alice just informed me that you were speaking in the phone while driving! Do you want to cause more car disasters? ”
“Yeah”, Seth yelled “what about the three gang members I turned in?”
“That was before all this happened, when you were a goodie good. Now leave I have nothing more to say to you!”
“But you guys are supposed to deal with kidnap cases, they’re supposed to be your first priority, you’re supposed to deal with them ASAP!” Seth yelled in a frantic tone of voice.
“First of all, don’t yell at a cop. Second, in your case it will be As Slow As Possible, punk. Third of all here is your fine for calling while driving. Now get out of my sight”
Seth left the Police HQ very disappointed and with his hefty fine. He also left the building deeply regretting giving himself a bad rep. but most of all at the police system. Seth took a look at his car’s windshield and saw a ticket. It was for parking illegally.
Now all Seth had left was distraught, anger, his two fines and Diane gone missing with no one to help him save her...
Well…maybe not.
“My girlfriend was kidnapped!”
“Calm down. Can I Have you’re name, address…” Seth began to realize that this wasn’t going well, he wanted to save Diane Now.
“My name is Seth Shlagman and…”
“Seth Shlagman! I’m sorry but the police can’t help you”
“Why?” said Seth. Although he suspected he knew the reason why.
“Bec.” Seth didn’t get a chance to hear her because he just arrived at his destination-the police station
Seth parked his car in front of the police station, exited the car and entered the building. At the front desk he saw the woman whom he was talking to on the phone.
“I’m the guy on the phone and I want to see the chief.” She was very surprised at seeing him there.
“All right, fine but I don’t think he will be happy with you especially with what happened in your last incident”
She led Seth to the chief’s office and told him to wait as she spoke to him first. He waited as she entered through the doors. After a minute or so he heard a man with a very deep voice start yelling. The owner of the voice burst through the doors.
“What the H are you doing here?!” in a very nasty tone
“I’m here becau…”
“I know why you’re here, Alice just told me. What I meant was how the F do you think you have the nerve to come up to me. Your record has been lousy lately. First you were driving under the influence of alcohol and destroyed a pizza parlor, and now Alice just informed me that you were speaking in the phone while driving! Do you want to cause more car disasters? ”
“Yeah”, Seth yelled “what about the three gang members I turned in?”
“That was before all this happened, when you were a goodie good. Now leave I have nothing more to say to you!”
“But you guys are supposed to deal with kidnap cases, they’re supposed to be your first priority, you’re supposed to deal with them ASAP!” Seth yelled in a frantic tone of voice.
“First of all, don’t yell at a cop. Second, in your case it will be As Slow As Possible, punk. Third of all here is your fine for calling while driving. Now get out of my sight”
Seth left the Police HQ very disappointed and with his hefty fine. He also left the building deeply regretting giving himself a bad rep. but most of all at the police system. Seth took a look at his car’s windshield and saw a ticket. It was for parking illegally.
Now all Seth had left was distraught, anger, his two fines and Diane gone missing with no one to help him save her...
Well…maybe not.
cyberSmashLink- Fuctioning Brain
- Number of posts : 100
Location : Lbrainery writing a story
Whats your deal? : $1,000,000
Major : Psycology
Room : the place where i am currently in
Registration date : 2008-02-19
L-Brainery stats
Brain cells:
(45/200)
Powers:
Purim character:: Bigson
Part 4 The flashback
As Seth drove back to his house, he walked around franticly wondering what he should do. He figured he is going to have to call Jason. Jason was his ex best friend and because of the horrible incident that had occured a couple of years ago they had not talked to each other. Six years ago to be exact, Seth and Jason were best friends. They did everything together. They played ball, they went to movies, and they slept over each other's house all the time. They were inseperable. One day a new girl came into their class. Her name was Diane. Diane was the most beautiful girl in their class. Jason noticed her and decided to take action right away. Jason worked up the courage and asked her out on a date. She shyly nodded yes. They both were dating for a couple of weeks until Jason started ignoring her because a new Battlefield game came out called Battlefield 3. He was addicted and started paying more attention to his computer than Diane. Diane was fed up with Jason and they broke up.
Seth noticed that they had broke up and decided to ask Diane out, unaware of how jealous Jason was going to act. Once Jason found out that they had started dating he was heart broken. He wouldn't answer any of Seth's calls. He wouldn't open the door to Seth. He wouldn't have anything to do with him anymore. Seth didn't know what to do anymore, he felt bad but he did not intend to create this hatred between them but in the end he just gave up on Jason.
Back to the present, Seth finally worked up the courage to call Jason. Jason did not recognize the number and curiosly answered "hello?"
Seth noticed that they had broke up and decided to ask Diane out, unaware of how jealous Jason was going to act. Once Jason found out that they had started dating he was heart broken. He wouldn't answer any of Seth's calls. He wouldn't open the door to Seth. He wouldn't have anything to do with him anymore. Seth didn't know what to do anymore, he felt bad but he did not intend to create this hatred between them but in the end he just gave up on Jason.
Back to the present, Seth finally worked up the courage to call Jason. Jason did not recognize the number and curiosly answered "hello?"
RoaringTiger- Fuctioning Brain
- Number of posts : 65
Age : 37
Location : somewhere on planet earth
Whats your deal? : Seems madam I know not seems I am definitely the topdog
Room : Bathroom
Registration date : 2008-02-21
L-Brainery stats
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Re: Novel#3 by insertnamehere
"Jason? It's Seth Shlagman..." "Seth?? What's up? You sound ups-" "it's Diane! She's in trouble!" he had expected Jason to blow him off, or hang up. Jason's answer surprised him. "Diane?? what's the matter?" Quickly Seth told him what happened. "Seth, meet me at Diane's house in ten minutes! I"ll deal with the police!"
Jason was true to his word. The squad car arrived at almost the same tiem as Seth. Jason and an unfamiliar officer stepped out. "Officer Parkman, this is Seth Shlagman and old friend, he want to hear this in your own words." Quickly, Seth outlined the events of the day, and Jason surprised him once again. "Officer, there is a spare key behind the mailbox. Diane is my ex-girlfriend, and i'm really worried!"
The officer took the key, and opened the door. So far, nothing. Seth led the way to the second floor. He paused for a moment, and then noticed the door open at the end of the hallway. "DIANE!!" Seth cried, sprinting for the back of the room, Jason only a half-step behind him. Officer Parkman was shouting something into his radio, but they hardly noticed. Diane was sitting in a chair, next to the bed, her head slumped to the side. Her hands and feet were taped to the chair, and there was another long piece obscuring her mouth. A fresh bruise covered her left cheek, and a trickle of blood rand own her face. She did not seem to be breathing.
Jason gently placed his fingers against her throat. "She has a pulse!" he exclaimed, visibly wilting with relief. Seth started to feel faint, and nearly collapsed. officer Parkman carefully cut away the tape, and then freed her arms and legs. "An ambulance is on the way. I need to take a statement from both of you, but offhand it looks like a classic burglery. We've had a string of these in the last two years. Luckily, your pounding on the door must have scared him off before doing any serious harm. Your young lady is very lucky to be alive, and she has you boys to thank for it." For the first time, Seth noticed the smahed window, the missing jewelry box, and the broken dresser. Indeed, it could have been worse.
His reverie was shattered by the arrival of the paramedics. They gently eased Diane onto the stretcher, and took her off the hospital.
Jason was true to his word. The squad car arrived at almost the same tiem as Seth. Jason and an unfamiliar officer stepped out. "Officer Parkman, this is Seth Shlagman and old friend, he want to hear this in your own words." Quickly, Seth outlined the events of the day, and Jason surprised him once again. "Officer, there is a spare key behind the mailbox. Diane is my ex-girlfriend, and i'm really worried!"
The officer took the key, and opened the door. So far, nothing. Seth led the way to the second floor. He paused for a moment, and then noticed the door open at the end of the hallway. "DIANE!!" Seth cried, sprinting for the back of the room, Jason only a half-step behind him. Officer Parkman was shouting something into his radio, but they hardly noticed. Diane was sitting in a chair, next to the bed, her head slumped to the side. Her hands and feet were taped to the chair, and there was another long piece obscuring her mouth. A fresh bruise covered her left cheek, and a trickle of blood rand own her face. She did not seem to be breathing.
Jason gently placed his fingers against her throat. "She has a pulse!" he exclaimed, visibly wilting with relief. Seth started to feel faint, and nearly collapsed. officer Parkman carefully cut away the tape, and then freed her arms and legs. "An ambulance is on the way. I need to take a statement from both of you, but offhand it looks like a classic burglery. We've had a string of these in the last two years. Luckily, your pounding on the door must have scared him off before doing any serious harm. Your young lady is very lucky to be alive, and she has you boys to thank for it." For the first time, Seth noticed the smahed window, the missing jewelry box, and the broken dresser. Indeed, it could have been worse.
His reverie was shattered by the arrival of the paramedics. They gently eased Diane onto the stretcher, and took her off the hospital.
HomerPalooza67- Social Brain!
- Number of posts : 176
Location : The State of Confusion. Yes, it does exist (somewhere, probably near Washington, D.C.).
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Re: Novel#3 by insertnamehere
- Spoiler:
- First of all, where was Diane, you didn't tell us where Diane was? Also how did the police officer know where to look for her? Why did Jason greet him like that after the uncomfortable silence that had taken place for so many years?
RoaringTiger- Fuctioning Brain
- Number of posts : 65
Age : 37
Location : somewhere on planet earth
Whats your deal? : Seems madam I know not seems I am definitely the topdog
Room : Bathroom
Registration date : 2008-02-21
L-Brainery stats
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Re: Novel#3 by insertnamehere
- Spoiler:
- They decided to check the house, to start the investigation. They got lucky. Jason was really worried about Diane, and he had matured somewhat.
HomerPalooza67- Social Brain!
- Number of posts : 176
Location : The State of Confusion. Yes, it does exist (somewhere, probably near Washington, D.C.).
Whats your deal? : Photoshop, dude! It's all about photoshop!!!
Room : Bathroom
Registration date : 2008-02-18
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Part 6: the reason
Late that night both Seth and Jason were permited to visit Diane. After talking for a while the question came up.
"Why were you attacked?" Asked Seth, "We saw that the jewlery was missing bur why would your drawers pulled out and ramsacked through?"
Diane replied "Well, there were Two guys, The first one's name was Sham. All he was interseted in was the jewlery. I don't know the second guy's name but he kept on telling Sham to stop wasting time by going through the Jewlery, He said that they had somthing more important to get."
"What Could possibly be more important?" Asked Seth
"Did they get what they were looking for?" Asked Jason
"Yes" Diane Replied.
"What did they take?"
"My Canon HV20 camcorder"
"Why were you attacked?" Asked Seth, "We saw that the jewlery was missing bur why would your drawers pulled out and ramsacked through?"
Diane replied "Well, there were Two guys, The first one's name was Sham. All he was interseted in was the jewlery. I don't know the second guy's name but he kept on telling Sham to stop wasting time by going through the Jewlery, He said that they had somthing more important to get."
"What Could possibly be more important?" Asked Seth
"Did they get what they were looking for?" Asked Jason
"Yes" Diane Replied.
"What did they take?"
"My Canon HV20 camcorder"
cyberSmashLink- Fuctioning Brain
- Number of posts : 100
Location : Lbrainery writing a story
Whats your deal? : $1,000,000
Major : Psycology
Room : the place where i am currently in
Registration date : 2008-02-19
L-Brainery stats
Brain cells:
(45/200)
Powers:
Purim character:: Bigson
Part 7 The Betrayal
Seth was then heartbroken and upset. He couldn't believe it. Seth exclaimed "I can't believe it, they took the camcorder with th-" Seth didn't finish because Jason was there and did not want to tell him what was on the camera. Jason then asked "what was on the camera?" Seth and Diane then looked at each other and replied that it's better if he didn't know. Jason refused to listen to this answer and begged them and pleaded with them to know what it is, but they refused. Jason didn't ask them anymore for he would soon find out.
Seth wanted to find these people and especially the camera. Seth and Jason both agreed that it was unsafe for Diane to go out looking for these muggers and they went looking by themselves. Jason and Seth went searching for these people when all of the sudden a car came out of nowhere and just started shooting. Both Seth and Jason ducked for cover. One of the muggers stepped out of the car and saw Seth and grabbed him and threw him in the car. Seth yelled for Jason and Jason stood up and answered "yeah how can I help you?" with a grin on his face. Seth started yelling "what do you mean how can I he-" "Oh my gosh you set this up. You kidnapped Diane. You stole the camera. This was all your planning." Jason replied Sarcastically "Wow, your'e very smart." Seth asked why he did this. Jason answerd him relaying the incident that happened between them and Diane, and that now he finally would get his revenge. Seth felt betrayed and frightened at what Jason just did. Jason then told Seth "I think what I am going to do first is take a look inside your camera." Seth then shocked screamed, "NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT NO NO!" Jason just laughed and took out the camera and looked at the picture and what he saw was quite a surprise.
Seth wanted to find these people and especially the camera. Seth and Jason both agreed that it was unsafe for Diane to go out looking for these muggers and they went looking by themselves. Jason and Seth went searching for these people when all of the sudden a car came out of nowhere and just started shooting. Both Seth and Jason ducked for cover. One of the muggers stepped out of the car and saw Seth and grabbed him and threw him in the car. Seth yelled for Jason and Jason stood up and answered "yeah how can I help you?" with a grin on his face. Seth started yelling "what do you mean how can I he-" "Oh my gosh you set this up. You kidnapped Diane. You stole the camera. This was all your planning." Jason replied Sarcastically "Wow, your'e very smart." Seth asked why he did this. Jason answerd him relaying the incident that happened between them and Diane, and that now he finally would get his revenge. Seth felt betrayed and frightened at what Jason just did. Jason then told Seth "I think what I am going to do first is take a look inside your camera." Seth then shocked screamed, "NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT NO NO!" Jason just laughed and took out the camera and looked at the picture and what he saw was quite a surprise.
RoaringTiger- Fuctioning Brain
- Number of posts : 65
Age : 37
Location : somewhere on planet earth
Whats your deal? : Seems madam I know not seems I am definitely the topdog
Room : Bathroom
Registration date : 2008-02-21
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(45/200)
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Purim character::
Part 8: the Surprise
"Nooooo you can't look at that video, i'ts private, only for me and Diane to see"
"What what is this?" Yelled Jason as he was looking at the video. "I thought She witnessed my crime and recorded it! why is'nt it here?"
"What are you talking about? that video is part of my engagement plan!"
After hearing this Jason turned a Furious shade of red. You could almost see the steam coming out of his nostils.
"You were going to get engaged with her!" Yelled Jason even louder in mad fury. and with that he attacked.
"What what is this?" Yelled Jason as he was looking at the video. "I thought She witnessed my crime and recorded it! why is'nt it here?"
"What are you talking about? that video is part of my engagement plan!"
After hearing this Jason turned a Furious shade of red. You could almost see the steam coming out of his nostils.
"You were going to get engaged with her!" Yelled Jason even louder in mad fury. and with that he attacked.
cyberSmashLink- Fuctioning Brain
- Number of posts : 100
Location : Lbrainery writing a story
Whats your deal? : $1,000,000
Major : Psycology
Room : the place where i am currently in
Registration date : 2008-02-19
L-Brainery stats
Brain cells:
(45/200)
Powers:
Purim character:: Bigson
Part 9 what the heck
Jason then pounced onto seth, and strted beating the heck out of him. He was unconsious. Jason was about to throw in the final punch, when he looked at Seth and just strted to break down and cry. One of the muggers, Sham, looked at Jason and said, "yo boss, why are you crying?" Jason responded, "none of you realize this but seth wasn't just my best friend he is my adopted brother."
RoaringTiger- Fuctioning Brain
- Number of posts : 65
Age : 37
Location : somewhere on planet earth
Whats your deal? : Seems madam I know not seems I am definitely the topdog
Room : Bathroom
Registration date : 2008-02-21
L-Brainery stats
Brain cells:
(45/200)
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Purim character::
sub part 9:?
?huh?
cyberSmashLink- Fuctioning Brain
- Number of posts : 100
Location : Lbrainery writing a story
Whats your deal? : $1,000,000
Major : Psycology
Room : the place where i am currently in
Registration date : 2008-02-19
L-Brainery stats
Brain cells:
(45/200)
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Purim character:: Bigson
sub sub part 9 what the heck
Jason then said Im joking
RoaringTiger- Fuctioning Brain
- Number of posts : 65
Age : 37
Location : somewhere on planet earth
Whats your deal? : Seems madam I know not seems I am definitely the topdog
Room : Bathroom
Registration date : 2008-02-21
L-Brainery stats
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(45/200)
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Purim character::
Part 10: oh!
Sham replied "oh! for a second there i thought you were some type of deranged maniac for attacking your adopted brother and ordering me and Chanti to attack your ex girlfriend"
Jason then got up and punched Sham in the stomach. "Thats for calling me a deranged maniac "
(as this was happening Seth regained consiencousness)(please excuse the spelling)
Chanti then asked "If Seth isn't your adopted brother Why were you crying?"
Jason then got up and punched Sham in the stomach. "Thats for calling me a deranged maniac "
(as this was happening Seth regained consiencousness)(please excuse the spelling)
Chanti then asked "If Seth isn't your adopted brother Why were you crying?"
cyberSmashLink- Fuctioning Brain
- Number of posts : 100
Location : Lbrainery writing a story
Whats your deal? : $1,000,000
Major : Psycology
Room : the place where i am currently in
Registration date : 2008-02-19
L-Brainery stats
Brain cells:
(45/200)
Powers:
Purim character:: Bigson
Re: Novel#3 by insertnamehere
- Spoiler:
- Huh? After three years, Jason should have gotten over Diane. Diane left him, she broke up. Seth did not steal her. at first there could be jealosy, but THIS, after three years? I was hoping to write Jason having found someone else by this time. Just some advice, try and put yourself in the shoes of your character, so that you can write him/her with a better portrayal. Jeez, you're a psych major, man!
HomerPalooza67- Social Brain!
- Number of posts : 176
Location : The State of Confusion. Yes, it does exist (somewhere, probably near Washington, D.C.).
Whats your deal? : Photoshop, dude! It's all about photoshop!!!
Room : Bathroom
Registration date : 2008-02-18
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reply to homer paloza
- Spoiler:
- Hello, 1) what part of deranged maniac don't you understand, 2) he was blaying battlefeild 3 all this time,how could he have metsomeone. and by the way, you can contribute to the story by adding a new character who will start going out with Jason
cyberSmashLink- Fuctioning Brain
- Number of posts : 100
Location : Lbrainery writing a story
Whats your deal? : $1,000,000
Major : Psycology
Room : the place where i am currently in
Registration date : 2008-02-19
L-Brainery stats
Brain cells:
(45/200)
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Purim character:: Bigson
Re: Novel#3 by insertnamehere
- Spoiler:
- Seems that this story has been destroyed once Jason went bad. Sorry RoaringTiger but I just don't think it was appropriate to make Jason a bad guy, and so quickly. Lets try from now on to spend more time on quality instead of making dramatic twists. ***But don't listen to me cuz I don't know anything about writing.
TopStinger2007- Moderator
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Age : 38
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Whats your deal? : Im graduating soon and need an internship in computers this summer, any ideas?
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Re: Novel#3 by insertnamehere
YAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRG
I hate your story
YAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRG
I hate your story
YAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRG
cannongannon64- A New Brain!!
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LBrainery :: The Artistic Side... (Ideas, talents, writing, graphics and interests) :: Gaming Galore! :: Story Games
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